


tell me that you love me even if it’s fake

by orphan_account



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Game Grumps, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst is not my specialty so don’t expect to see much, Anime, Arin is a cinnamon roll, Coffee, Croptops, D&D, Different time zones that will not be paid attention to because I’m lazy, Drugs n such, F/M, Gaming, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Movie Night, Multi, Music, Photography, Roommates are fun, Sean is obscenely flirty, Slam Poetry, Some appearances of dark and anti, Some fluff and a bit of smut but that’s only in a few chapters, Suzy is so sweet, Tags Are Hard, Ukulele, Very protective mark, Wanderlust, Well I added smut into this so enjoy, Writing on Skin, but they all are so they’re a perfect lil team, chica Fischbach - Freeform, connor the Android from cyberlife, ethan can go from shy to sexy is 0.9 seconds, ethan is adorable, he can’t hold his feelings back, huskies help with depresso, i might have a crush on suzy, itll be obvious later on in the story, kitties, mark is so flirty and sexual with his body language, much fluff, nahhhhh, oh yeah Rhyan is a girl btw, oop was that a spoiler, referenced ddlg, remake of a fic I did a while ago that I didn’t like how it turned out so I remade it into this, sean is way too loud, sexy sweat pants, skyping real late at night, sleep overs, streaming really late at night, the most is fluff, video gaming, weeeeeeed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-06-19 01:09:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15498936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I woke up on the plane, being shooken by the movements. I check my phone to see what time it is.5:43pm.Only a couple more minutes until we land, if the calculations were accurate. A voice come  son over the PA, telling us what to do. I can almost recite it by heart now because of how many trips I have to do to America now. Next to me, Sean jolts awake as the voice begins. I laugh a little bit to myself. He looks over to me, his earbuds had fallen out when he was sleeping.“What time is it?” He asks me.“5:45” I reply, “We should be in out in a little while. The woman is telling us to buckle up because we’re landing soon.”He nods, sliding his earbuds back in and closing his pretty eyes.I send a text that I know won’t go through until we land.RhyanReynolds: we’re in glooming america once again. see you in a bit Eth.—————Remake of a fic I did a few days back that I didn’t like how it turned out so this happened





	1. kisses xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoy this!  
> If you’re here from my other fic (I don’t remember falling in love this quickly last time) then this is the remade one!  
> I’ll keep the old one on for a little while then delete it when this one begins to pick up the pace
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

“RHYAN!!” I hear Sean’s loud yell from down the hall.

“WHAT?!” I yell back.

“COME HERE WITH YOUR STUFF,” he replies.

I grab my carryon bag, throwing it over my shoulder and pulling my large suitcase behind me.

“What?” I ask.

He grabs my suitcase, pulling it out to the cab.

I run back to my room quickly to grab one last thing while he’s outside.

“Gotcha,” I murmur when I grab my large stuffed cat that Ethan got me when I was in LA for Christmas. I smile when I walk out, thinking of the sweet cinnamon roll. He was too precious for this world.

“You got everything?” Sean asks when I come back out.

“Mhmm!”

“Good.” He smiles deviously, ” _Don’t want you leaving anything and having to borrow someone else’s clothes.”_

I swat at the back of his head in a scolding manner, “Sean Mcloughin!” I say, and he laughs he adorable laugh. I laugh with him for a while and help him bring his stuff out to the cab. 

We hop in the cab after making sure all the lights in the flat were out and we were safe to go. 

I text Ethan and Mark in all four of ours group chat. 

 

RhyanReynolds: we’re leaving the house rn. See y’all tomorrow ;) 

Jackeyboyy: mhmm. Can’t wait to see all of you B)

blueboi: excited to see you guys! Glad you could come before VidCon started so we can all hang for a while and not rush around for it. 

markiimoo: rhyan I see you sneakin in that cheeky wink

RhyanReynolds: it’s for you marky ;)))

markiimoo: knew you liked me

RhyanReynolds: only for DAT ASS

markiimoo: it’s my best feature baby

RhyanReynolds: oh believe me babe I know

RhyanReynolds: anyways I’ll talk to y’all later we gotta go

blueboi: aww damn I liked your flirty show

RhyanReynolds: oh don’t worry lil bean there’ll be more when we land ;)

markiimoo: buh bye. be safe on your trip

Jackeyboyy: we wiiiiill

markiimoo: kisses xoxo

RhyanReynolds: such a sap

blueboi: bye guys! and there better be more, Rhy or it’s your ass on the line

RhyanReynolds: I’m good with that Ethybabe

Jackeyboyy: alright you two say goodbye! See you all on the other side of the war!

 

Sean and I look at each other and burst out laughing as the cab driver pulls up to the airport. We get our, wiping tears from our cheeks. 

I smile at him fondly, while grabbing my bags and we walk into security.


	2. u just want what u cant have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song I used was Party Favor by Billie Eilish  
> Enjoy!
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

Sean and board the plane and take our seats. My cat is in my lap as I lean my head against the window. Sean sits on my right. He’s got headphones on already, his eyes partially closed.  
I put on mine and get enveloped in the tune as we take off. 

 

Hey - call me back when you get this  
Or when you've got a minute  
We really need to talk  
Wait - you know what  
Maybe just forget it  
'Cause by the time you get this  
Your number might be blocked  
"Stay" and "bla bla bla"  
You just want what you can't have  
No way  
I'll call the cops  
If you don't stop, I'll call your dad  
And I hate to do this to you on your birthday  
Happy birthday by the way  
"It's not you, it's me" and all that other bullshit  
You know that's bullshit  
Don'tcha', babe?  
I'm not your party favor  
Look - now I know, we could've done it better  
But we can't change the weather  
When the weather's come and gone  
Books don't make sense if you read 'em backwards  
You'll single out the wrong words  
Like you mishear all my songs  
You hear "stay" and "bla bla bla"  
You just want what you can't have  
No way  
I'll call the cops  
If you don't stop, I'll call your dad  
And I hate to do this to you on your birthday  
Happy birthday by the way  
"It's not you, it's me" and all that other bullshit  
You know that's bullshit  
Don'tcha', babe?  
I'm not your party favor

———————

Sean and I get off the plane a few times for layover. We arrive in America around 1pm and take another plane to LA around 2. The woman on the PA had said that the plane was going to be delayed due to some issues they had with the engine but it luckily only took a half an hour.  
We boarded the plane once again and took off to go to LA. 

———————

I woke up on the plane, being shooken by the movements. I check my phone to see what time it is.  
5:43pm.  
Only a couple more minutes until we land, if the calculations were accurate. A voice came over the PA, telling us what to do. I can almost recite it by heart now because of how many trips I have to do to America now. Next to me, Sean jolts awake as the voice begins. I laugh a little bit to myself. He looks over to me, his earbuds had fallen out when he was sleeping.  
“What time is it?” He asks me.  
“5:45” I reply, “We should be in out in a little while. The woman is telling us to buckle up because we’re landing soon.”  
He nods, sliding his earbuds back in and closing his pretty eyes.  
I send a text that I know won’t go through until we land.

RhyanReynolds: we’re in glooming america once again. see you in a bit Eth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments n feedback are much appreciated
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


	3. come through n chill with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have no fucking idea how upset with myself I am over this chapter.  
> This is my third time rewriting this because I was stupid and closed my browser TWICE and forgot to save my progress every time!!!  
> I’m so upset with myself but I’ll try to get this chapter done as close to the original as possible
> 
> t w i c e.... grr  
> I like to think that this version is better then the other two but it’s really not  
> Anyways  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

The plane lands and almost immediately I call Ethan.  
“Heyo Rhy,” he answers in a chipper voice.  
“Heyyyyy, Ethy,” I say. He laughs over the line at the little pet name.  
“How was the flight?”  
“Oh my god,” I groan, looking over to Sean. “The flight was terrible.”  
The Irishman laughs, adding in, ”The lady in front of us on the way to America wouldn’t stop yelling at her kid.”  
Ethan let’s out his cute giggle.  
“Yeah! And on the way to LA I wasn’t next to a window, Sean was and there was this dude next to me who smelled like he shit his pants,” I say, trying not to be too loud since I think I saw the man heading this way to the exit too.  
“What time did Mark say he’d pick us up?” Sean asks.  
“Round six, why?” Ethan replies.  
“Fuuuuck,” he says quietly. I look at the time. It was just about 6pm. It felt like 6am though.  
“What?” He asks.  
“We still gotta go to tha baggage claim.” I say for him.  
“Oh. Do you want me to get off?” He asks.  
“No, no it’s alright,” I shake my head and walk quickly with Sean to the east exit where our baggage claim would be.  
“So how’s your day been?” I ask him, speedwalking to keep up with Sean.  
“Pretty good. Been a lil lonely without y’all not bein around.”  
“Aww Ethan you’re so sweet. I knew you liked me but god dayum! You’re gettin pretty honest, love,” I say, teasing him a bit. I can practically hear him blushing.  
“T-That’s not what I m-meant!” Ethan defensively retorts.  
“Oh, babe, you don’t have to lie, it’s okay!” I play along, Sean snickering next to me as we arrive at the baggage claim. He goes up to grab mine when he sees it and stays up there to wait for the others.  
“Oh my god, why do I even talk to you guys,” he mutters.  
“Yeah, you’re right, we’re just terrible people,” I say. Sean comes back pulling both of my suitcases and puts them down next to me.  
“Thank ya much, Seany,” I say, ruffling his mop of hair. He kisses my cheek, taking me by surprise.  
“No problem, luv,” He smirks and leaving to get his bags. Ethan is losing his shit on the other side of the line.  
“What the fuck are you laughing about, Nestor?!” I scold, not noticing my accent getting thicker, which just fuels him to laugh more. My face is burning. I hear a ding and vibration come from my phone.  
“Oop, one sec,” I mutter, seeing who texted me. 

markiimoo: hey I’m here at the east exit. you guys almost done getting your baggage?  
RhyanReynolds: yeah Sean is grabbing his rn but we’ll be out in a few minutes  
markiimoo: okey dokie see you in a bit

“Okay, Eth. Mark is here so I’ll see you in a bit. Bye bye,” I tell him.  
“Okay, see you soon, Rhy. Be safe.” He replies.  
“Mhmm. I will,” I say, hanging up. Sean comes up with his bags.  
“Moo is here.”  
“Mmkay,” he grunts, hefting his backpack over his shoulder again.  
We walk outside and look for Mark’s car. We spot it and wave at him. Once he sees us, he pulls up.  
Mark gets out and before he can begin to help us with our bags, I yank him into a big hug.  
“Get over here, ya big dunce,” I say when I pull him in.  
“Missed you too, Rhy,” he laughs, hugging me back tightly. When we let go, him and Sean hug too.  
I pull my bags around the car and throw them into the backhatch of the car. Mark grabs Sean’s and lugs them to the back too and groans loudly when he can barely lift the smaller one.  
“The hell do you have in this?” Mark laughs breathlessly when he gets it into the back.  
“Just all of my recording equipment,” Sean snickers.  
I hop into the front seat of the car and place my stuffed cat in my lap.  
“You’ve still got that thing?” Mark asks when we all get in.  
“Mhmm!” I chirp, “I can’t even sleep without him anymore so I had to bring him. You don’t mind, right?”  
“Not at all!” He says, slightly flustered.  
I smile and look out of the window until we get home. 

———————

“IM HOME!!” I practically scream when we get to Mark’s house. The sound of someone almost falling down the stairs echos through the house as Ethan jumps off the last step.  
He runs over to me and hugs me tightly, and I hug him back with the same amount of tightness. Mark walks through the door with my bags and the door hits me slightly, and I laugh into Ethan’s shirt.  
He let’s go finally, face slightly red.  
“S-sorry. You’ve just been gone for so long.” He stutters.  
“Nah, it’s cool Eth. I don’t mind.” I shrug. Sean comes through the door too, and yells at me.  
“Move yer fat ass, Rhyan,” He says, smacking it and I jump, moving out of the way.  
“Jesus Christ, I am, I am!” I turn around and scold him for about the third time today. Mark and Ethan giggle to each other.

———————

I yawn and lean against the wall while laughing sleepily.  
“Tired?” Mark asks.  
“Mhmm,” I reply, “it just hit me hard.”  
Mark goes to the kitchen and digs around the fridge for something to make for food.  
“You wanna put in a movie and relax?” Ethan suggests. I nod, looking over at Sean and making a gesture as if asking him if he wants to too. He nods and comes over to the couch where Ethan and I had sat down.  
Ethan gets on the ground and looks for a DVD that Mark stored under the TV stand.  
“Hey, Mar?” He says loudly.  
“Hmm?”  
“Where’s the DVD for Wolverine?” He asks.  
“Should be in there,” Mark replies. “If not it might be in one of the storage containers I just filled up a while ago.”  
“Okay,” Ethan goes off to find the container in the storage room.

I grab a blanket that’s folded up on the edge of the couch and wrap myself in it.  
Ethan comes back a few minutes later holding a couple movies.  
“Okay, I got Wolverine, Dark knight and for shits and giggles I also got Mulan.” He says, sitting down next to me and revealing the DVD cases.  
“Mulan!” I point to it, “BE A MAN!” and hear Mark and from the kitchen yell “THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOON” and Sean joining in with him.  
“Okay, Mulan it is.”  
We all cheer loudly when Ethan says that.  
He puts in the disc and sits down, wedged between Sean and I.  
I snuggle up against him, using him as a makeshift pillow and probably only get through 10 minutes of the movie before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title and inspiration was from Miguel’s song Come Through And Chill  
> It’s such an amazing song and can always soothe me whenever I’m upset which is what I listened to when I was writing this because I was still super pissed at myself doing this twice  
> Guess I never learn
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u_C4onVrr8U
> 
> Song link ^^
> 
> Also in this I made a super shitty and stupid crankiplier joke and I can’t remember it for the life of me so I’m also upset about that
> 
> Grr!!
> 
> Comments n feedback are much appreciated
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


	4. it was then i realized u were not my world u were my universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING!! 
> 
> Song/poetry used  
> you said okay by flatsound
> 
> Oh yeah and I forgot to mention this but Rhyan has a slight British accent but since Europe isn’t her native country she doesn’t have it too thickly and it only thickens when she’s upset or sleepy
> 
> enjoy  
> (*´꒳`*)

I wake up in someone’s arms, being carried to a room. I nuzzle my nose into their shirt. They smell like Mark.  
He smelled sweet with a hint of musk. I groan and open my eyes to see him.  
“Marr?”  
“Shhh, Rhy.” He says, placing me on the bed. “Goodnight.” And he begins to walk away but I grab his sleeve.  
“Wait,” I mumble, “stay”  
Mark makes a small sound, latching the door and I move over a bit on the bed. He sits down next to me.  
“Are you sure?” He asks me. I nod.  
He lays down underneath the blankets and I curl up against him, mumbling inaudible words.  
I yawn and feel my eyes get all watery from how large the yawn was. Mark still feels tense.  
“Marr, is okay.” I reassure him very sleepily. He slowly untenses his body, and I smile. I can feel him fidgeting around, trying to find the right place to put his hands.  
“Put your hands on my back like your giving me a really long hug,” I murmur, my accent having a sleepy tinge to it.  
He does as he’s told and I hum lightly in praise.  
We stay like this for a while, waiting for one of us to fall asleep first. I’m almost to the verge of sleep when Mark says something.  
“You left your cat downstairs.”  
I open my eyes and look into his.  
“Mhmm. You’re my cat now,” I whisper, but it comes out more sexual then wanted. A slight change of color crosses his cheeks. “I didn’t mean in that way. You’re my cuddly kitten now.”  
I can feel his stomach tense. That wasn’t any better.  
“I’m sorry, Mark,” I murmur, looking at his scarlet colored shirt.  
“It’s okay, boo,” he replies softly and his stomach loosens once again. I feel him kiss the top of my head. I kiss his chest, but don’t pull my lips away so I’m flush against him. Mark’s body heat is so warm and I soak up every once of it. He pulls away for a moment and I look at him, whining from lack of contact. “Shh, Rhy, shhh,” he shushes me, pressing a finger to my lips. I look at him, confusion in my eyes. Mark sits up, pulling off his shirt, chest fully revealed. I make a small noise of approval, then pull him back to me once he throws it off the bed. I bring him to my level and let our lips meet. He groans, pressing closer to me and closing his chocolate brown eyes I love so much. I pull away, and go to kissing his cheek and jawline. He lets out a small sigh, digging his fingers into my shoulderblades. “Rhyan,” he whispers, pulling my head up to look at him. “Hmm?” Mark kisses me, with more force then I had when I had kissed him. I sigh against his lips and let my hands roam his back, feeling every dimple and curve there is to him. Our tongues began to wrestle for dominance, and neither of us were going to let the other have it. When we pull away, a strand of saliva follows and breaks, dripping onto the sheets. “Fuck,” he grunts. I smile at him and lay myself ontop of him. “Is this okay?” I ask first, before I put my full weight on him. “Hell yeah.”

I put my weight on him and begin to kiss him again. I kiss his lips first, Mark hungrily lapping it up and I work my way down his neck.  
I kiss his collarbone, nipping lightly, making him quietly moan. I find a good spot just below his collar bone where I suck on his skin, leaving a deep purple hickey. His breath hitches, and I kiss around the sensitive skin.  
I kiss lower and lower, littering small lovebites and kisses down his chest until I reach his upper stomach. I begin to leave small kisses next to and on his scar.  
“Mark’s ouchie needs to be fixed with kisses,” I whisper against his skin. I hear him laugh lightly and ruffle my hair.  
“Your kisses’ll fix my ouchie, Rhy,” he says breathily.  
“Mhmm.” I hum while continuing to kiss his stomach. Mark murmurs something inaudible and pulls me back up to him.  
“Something wrong?” I ask.  
“Oh hell no, baby,” he says, stroking my cheek. “You’re just going so damn slow, it’s killing me.”  
I giggle softly. “I’ll go slower for you, if that’s what you want.” I tease. Mark gives me a look as a lean into his hand. I sit up on his lower stomach/almost-but-not-quite crotch area, pulling off my gray Spider-Man shirt and tossing it on the floor.  
I can feel Mark holding himself back from tearing me apart.  
“Oh, babydoll,” I whisper, running my fingers through his hair. “Why’re you being so needy?”  
He tries to avoid the question by going up and kissing me again but I grind my hips downwards, and instinctively closes his eyes, letting out a moan.  
“My little kitten,” I whisper, leaning down to him so I can kiss him. Mark grabs the back of my head, pulling me closer and I let myself slip from a sitting position to laying down again. I can feel his member hard underneath his shorts.  
“Oh Markimoo, are you getting hard?” I tease again, not being able to help myself. He shakily growls and I take that as a yes.  
Our lips meet one last time and his hands work their way down my pants, pulling them down and I kick them off my feet. He takes a feel of my ass and I moan against his mouth, opening my eyes. I see his eyes looking at mine darkly.  
I know exactly what he’s thinking about too, and goddamn do I want it too.  
Our teeth clash when he gets too impatient, and before I know it I’m underneath him.  
I wondered how quickly he’d snap and take control. Much longer than I expected. He pulls down both his pants and boxers, and I bring my lip between my teeth, biting back a moan at the sight of him. I can feel myself melting like hot wax, as he unclasps my bra and throwing it off the bed.  
“Fuckin hell,” he pants, going down on me and giving me the same treatment I gave him.  
Mark goes much rougher than I did though, leaving love bites wherever he could place them. I can feel him sucking on a large one next to my ear and I gasp, feeling my legs quiver.  
He presses himself against to me, licking my collarbone and around my tits, extracting loud noises from me. Mark finds a spot above my collarbone and bites, making me jerk my hips upwards, and I cry out for him.  
“Mark!” I huff, grabbing his dark hair. He looks up to me, eyes covered in worry.  
“Oh no, Rhyan I am so sorry, I didn’t—“ he begins, going into panic mode.  
“Mark,” I press my finger against his lips, “I want you to fuck me.”  
His cheeks and ears flush an attractive shade of red as he nods, kissing me again and pulling off my underwear.  
He presses his stomach against mine and I can feel the slick sheen of sweat on his skin.  
“Do anything you want to me,” I breath, pressing my forehead against his.  
“Okay, boo,” he purrs, pinning my arms back behind my head with one of his hands while he positions himself with the other.  
He pushes two of his fingers into my mouth.  
“Suck” Mark orders. I nod and suck on his fingers, coating them thickly in saliva and he pulls out soon after. I feel high, and the only thing on my mind is him fucking me senseless.  
I didn’t really give a fuck if Sean or Ethan barged into the room and were watching us fuck, bewildered and engrossed all at the same time.  
Mark pushes one finger into my hole, yanking me from my thoughts. He moves around before inserting one more, scissoring and moving around, pulling loud and unholy sounds from my mouth.  
“Fuuuuck, Mark,” I whimper, pressing against him, feeling his every move inside of me. He pulls away the hand that held my arms behind me, and pulls his fingers out. I whine at the loss of him in me, but don’t stay dissatisfied for too long.  
He presses his dick against my hole, not fully inserting, and almost making me beg for it.  
“Mark, please, please!” I say in a needy tone that surprises even me.  
“What do you want, babygirl?” He asks deviously, knowing exactly what I want.  
“Mark!” I cry out, grabbing onto his hair roughly.  
“Baby, thats not what I asked,” Mark teases.  
“M-mark,” I whimper, “I want you to fuck me. Now.”  
“Good girl,” Mark says, rewarding me with his cock being fully inserted.  
“Fuuuck!” I moan out, pulling his hair as he slowly pushes in until he can’t anymore. Mark let’s out a growl, and I demand him to move.  
Mark moves slowly at first, then begins to pick up a rhythm after a few thrusts. I pull him down more, sinking my teeth into his shoulder, trying to hide loud moans.  
“Fuck,” Mark murmurs, thrusting his hips harder, fucking me downwards as I try to move with him but I’m too caught up in the scent of his sweat and the increase of the pace and how much I really needed this.  
I can hear the smack of our skin hitting, and I can feel him buried in me. I tug on his hair twice and push his chest a bit.  
“Mark,” I say between breaths. He stops his rhythm.  
“What is it, baby?” He asks, almost stopping altogether.  
“I want to ride you,” I whisper into his ear, breath tickling his neck. I can feel him shudder slightly.  
Mark pulls out and hoists me up from underneath him and gets situated to a sitting position.  
I sit on top of him, and without hesitation, sink onto his large dick, us both groaning as I begin to bounce, and those sounds becoming moans.  
My tits bounce too as I pick up pace, his hands digging into my hips, slamming me down into him each time. I grind against him too, earning loud noises of pleasure from him.  
“Fuck, fuckin shiiiit, Mark,” I hiss, losing the rhythm, knowing I’m pretty close to my edge.  
“Mark, I’m close,” I moan, putting my hands behind me and leaning over, feeling myself quivering and let myself dissolve in pleasure.  
Mark grabs the back of my neck, pulling me to him. He kisses me ferociously, nipping at my bottom lip and sucking. I moan in his mouth kiss him back in the same level of hunger.  
After a few more thrusts, Mark pulls out, “Rhy, I’m gonna come,” he murmurs to me, jerking himself off quickly. I lean back, pulling him down with me so he’s over me.  
“God, fuck, Rhyan,” Mark moans as he comes on my stomach, hot and white. He leans his head against my breast, closing his eyes and breathing heavily.  
“Good kitten,” I murmur to him and let him get comfortable in the bed.  
I get up even though my legs feel weak, walking to the bathroom and grabbing a towel from the rack. I wipe off the come from my stomach and look at all the marks that Mark left on me.  
I go back to the bedroom and clean Mark up before we both pass out from exhaustion.

“Betcha can’t sleep without me now,” Mark says tiredly, referring to when I said I couldn’t sleep without my stuffed cat.   
“If only I could take you back to Brighton with me. You could replace my kitty.” I whisper, pulling the covers that smelled like sex and sweat over us.   
I nuzzle up against Mark, and he wraps his arms around me, making me feel safe and warm.  
I give him a small peck on the lips.   
“Goodnight, Moo. I love you,” I tell him, allowing sleepiness to deep into my words.   
“Love you too, Rhyan,” he murmurs, and we both fall asleep like that, smelling of sex and wrapped in each other’s embrace.   
There was no where else I wanted to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You said okay by flatsound is probably one song/poem you will hear a lot of lyrics from in this fic
> 
> Also is it just me or are blowjobs/handjobs really weird and kinda ick?  
> They’ve always been a weird subject for me and I’ll usually skip them whenever I read smutty fan fiction. I’m just defective 
> 
> Comments n feedback are much appreciated 
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


	5. morning sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

I stare at the ceiling, following all the little cracks with my eyes. Mark’s head lays on my breast, his breathing soothing me.  
I can’t help but assume what he’ll think when he wakes up. Will he want to do it again sometime, or completely throw me out?  
Will he say the true me, wanting more of him all the time, is filthy, and he was just caught up in the moment?  
I sniffle, rubbing my watery eyes, and try not to make too loud of noises. Mark moves so that his arms are around my waist while he still lays his head on my chest, prompting me to cry more.  
They just fall down my cheeks like waterfalls, and I make a loud sobbing noise, which wakes Mark up.  
“Rhyan?” He murmurs, looking up at me sleepily.  
I try to rub the tears away and smile, “It’s nothing, baby. Just go back to bed.”  
Mark sits up, looking at me. He strokes my cheek, and I lean against his hand as support.  
“What’s wrong, babygirl?” He asks so very softly, making me cry harder and I hold onto him.  
“M-marr,” I whimper against his skin, and he holds me closer.  
“Baby, what’s the matter?” He runs his fingers through my hair and I lightly bite on his shoulder to keep me from sobbing more.  
Mark gets the hint that I won’t talk, so he talks instead.  
“Oh, babygirl, you’re too precious. What is going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” He cooes, “I’m here for you, baby, whenever you choose to talk about it.”  
I pull my teeth out of his skin and look at his eyes. They were so pretty and dark, I could look at them all day and not get bored.  
“I-I jus thought that if ya saw who I really was, you’d leave cos you were jus caught in the moment,” I say shakily.  
“Oh, boo. You really don’t have a clue. You know how long I’ve been wanting to get a piece of your ass?” Mark says, rubbing the small of my back.  
“Mean it?” I ask.  
“Always, baby,” he replies, kissing my neck.  
“Mmm,” I hum against his lips, and we’re back to where we started last night.  
“Hey, Rhy,” he says after a while of making out with my tits.  
“Yeah?”  
“What time is it?” He asks. I shrug, grabbing his phone off the nightstand.  
“8:54am.” I reply, putting his phone back.  
“We’ve got a bit of time before I need to start making videos,” He smirks to me, going back down and giving me a small hickey just above the nipple of my tits. I make a small groan, and bite my lip.  
“You up for some morning sex?” Mark says against my skin.  
“As long as it’s you, fuck yeah” I reply, and he comes back up to me to fuck my mouth with his.  
Mark takes my bottom lip in his mouth and sucking hard, till it’s swollen and red. He pulls away, panting hard while I’m a drippy mess melting underneath him.  
“Fuck, such a good sight,” he breathes out, “you’re so fucking hot like that. Wet and hazy, I just want to fuck you senseless.”

I feel myself growing wetter at those words and he moves himself so his knee is between my thighs, pressing up against me.  
“Fuuuck,” I rasp out, thrusting my hips down so I’m grinding against his leg.  
“Hot damn, Rhyan, you’re so beautiful,” Mark moans, watching me squirming for more friction.  
“So are you,” i pant back to him, feeling my body flushing.

He removed his slick knee from my thighs, replacing it with his large dick— which I have fallen in love with— and pushing himself fully inside of me.

I groan in pleasure, digging my long nails into his back, leaving marks in his tender skin.  
Mark burrows himself inside of me, slowly picking up pace. I wrap my legs around him so we’re flush against each other, pulling him as close as he can get.  
Once he picks up a mediocre but comfortable pace, I get impatient.  
“Mark,” I breath, pulling him by his neck to have eye contact with me. “Harder.”  
Mark quickly picks up his pace and force of thrusts, and the smacking of skin against skin is loud. It almost drowns out the sound of music coming from downstairs.  
“Fuck!!” I cry out, letting my back arch up against his stomach, coming while he’s still in me.

His breath hitches when I claw especially hard on his back, moaning. I can feel blood on his skin, and look at him.  
“I-I’m sorry,” I say, swallowing another moan.  
“Nah, babe. Just makes people know I’m yours.” He says breathlessly. “Fuck, I’m about to come.”  
Mark pulls out, and a few seconds after he comes on me again.  
He grabs the towel I used to clean up last night but I grab his arm and pull him against me, smearing the come between us.  
I kiss him gently, and he sighs into my mouth. I check the time on his phone.  
It was only 9:13am.  
“Who showers first?” He asks me when we pull away.  
“Shower together?” I suggest.  
“God, you’ve read my mind,” he laughs, picking me up from underneath my legs and carrying me to the bathroom that is connected to the bedroom.  
I make out with him until we reach the shower, and he places me on the ground.  
“You’re such a good kitten,” I praise. Mark makes a purring noise and turns on the faucet.  
“This temp good for you?” He asks, turning the handle.  
“Mhmm,” I say, feeling the warm water washing away the aftermath of last night and this morning.  
Mark gets in with me, helping me stand up. I lean against his strong chest as the water gets us both soaked in no time at all. “So warm,” I mumur, wrapping my arms around his waist. He grabs the shampoo bottle, opening it and supporting me with his shoulders while he puts it in his hand. “I’m gonna wash your hair,” he says, placing the soap in my hair and scrubbing. I make a noise of approval and put my hands on his to help him wash it. Although I do have short hair, it’s very thick. Once we’re done I put my head in stream with the water, washing the soap out of it while I put soap in my hand so I can wash his. I pull on his shoulders, bringing him down to my level and begin to wash his hair.

The scent of lavender and mint fill the shower as we wash each other. I smile at him when we’re clean, leaning my head against his chest and listening to his heartbeat.  
After a few minutes he turns the faucet off, letting me be on him for a little while more.  
“Okay, Rhybaby, c’mon, time to get up,” Mark says sweetly, grabbing a towel off the rack when I get off. He wraps it around me, and gets himself one to wrap up in.  
I walk with him out to the bedroom, grabbing my Spider-Man shirt and bra but Mark stops me.  
“No, you need some clean clothes,” He tells me. I nod, following him into his room sneakily so we don’t give anything away to the boys. No doubt that they know, though since we were so loud last night.  
Mark tosses me a shirt from his drawer, his It Is What It Is shirt and I slip it on over my breasts. I grab a pair of his sleep pants and slip those on too, not bothering to put on underwear.  
Mark puts on clothes too and we head downstairs to have breakfast. Ethan is in the kitchen, sitting on a stool and leaning over the table while Sean is brewing a pot of coffee.  
“Mornin’,” I say when I walk over, ruffling Ethan’s bedhair and making it crazier than before.  
“Morn,” He replies, lifting his head slightly. Music drifts from Sean’s phone from the counter.  
Mark plops down on the stool next to Ethan while I go up to Sean and see what he’s making.  
“Whatcha shakin’, bacon?” I ask him.  
“Just mah ass,” he snarkily says back to me without missing a beat.

“If you got it, flaunt it, so shake that booty,” I say while grabbing a mug from the cabinet, filling it with hot coffee.

Mark and Ethan chat lively while I slowly drink the coffee, being careful to not burn my mouth.  
“So,” Sean begins quietly, “how was he?”  
I look over at the Irishman, taken aback.  
“W-what do you mean?” I scoff, trying to play dumb with him.  
“I know whatchu two did las’ night,” Sean nudges me with his elbow, “so, was he good?”  
I sigh a bit, thinking back to it.  
“That good then?” He laughs lightly. I nervously join in with his laughter.  
“But really, Rhyan. No need ta be nervous ‘round us. We ain’t gonna judge ya cos o’ who ya sleep wif.” He reassures me, “and between you an’ me, I’m glad is Mark an’ not some other male prostitute from off tha street.”  
“A male prostitute?” I roll my eyes.  
“There’s always somefing like that,” He puts his hands up defensively. 

“Truth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like longer chapters or shorter chapters?  
> Or do you like how I have some short and some long?  
> Let me know in the comments 
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


	6. getting over it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damnn  
> Sorry bout being inactive for a couple of days  
> Feeling pretty shitty but still keeping up with writing  
> Thanks for everyone who’s reading this  
> You’ve got no idea how much it means to me that you all read this.  
> Thank you so much
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

Ethan looked at me when Mark told him the news.  
“So you two are..” he looks at me, “dating?”  
I give Mark a glance of questioning.  
“I mean, we haven’t exac—“  
“Yes! We are,” Mark butts in, coming over and grabbing my hand tightly.  
Ethan has a small look on his face of hurt, but covers it up quickly with a smile.  
“I’m so happy for you guys!” He says.  
“Yeah!” Sean shouts, throwing his arm around me and Mark, congratulating us. I wiggle my way out of their grasp and hand my mug to Mark.  
I grab Ethan’s hand and pull him up to me, hugging him.  
He breathes in sharply from surprise, but sinks in soon enough.  
“I love you, Ethan. I don’t want this to tear our friendship apart,” I whisper to him and pull away. Ethan nods at me, smiling warmly at Mark and I.  
“Oh shit, look at the time,” Mark exclaims.  
“What’s up?” I ask him.  
“I promised everybody that I’d do a livestream today, starting around 10 and I haven’t even began to get set up.” Mark scolds himself, and takes a drink of my coffee.  
“You want me to help you out with it?” Ethan chirps, taking a few steps over to us.  
“Would you?” Mark looks to him like he’s the savior.  
“Course! Should only take a couple of minutes to get it all set up,” he retorts, leading the way to the recording room, mark trailing after him, leaving Sean and I in the kitchen.

“How’re ya feelin?” He asks, rubbing my shoulders.  
“I don’t know. I’m so fucking happy,” I say softly, hoisting myself up onto the counter.  
Sean smiles.  
“But I feel like I’m hurting Ethan,” I admit, sighing heavily. “I know he’s always liked me, and it hurts to know that I might’ve caused him some sadness.”  
“Oh, Rhyan. Ethan’ll be alright. I’m sure there’s a lot of people who’ve had their hearts broken by you in some way.”  
I give him a hard look.  
“Not helping, Sean.” “Sorry, Rhyan. But really; Ethan’ll be okay.” —————— I walk into the recording room, Mark asking the viewers if everything is working alright for them while Ethan instructs him what to click on, even though Mark does so many livestreams he should remember how to function it all by himself. “Okay sweet,” he smiles. I surprise him while he’s looking underneath his desk at the motherboard, pressing my finger to my lips to signal Ethan not to give me away. I tug on the hair at the back of his neck gently. “Wha?!” Mark whips his head around and sees me. “Gimme a heart attack, whydontcha?” “Maybe one day I will,” I say, pulling up a spare chair. “Whatcha gonna play,” I ask, gesturing for Ethan to come here. “Hmm?” I pull him down onto the chair too so he’s sitting on my lap, resting my chin between the crook of his neck. “Dunno yet,” Mark replies, fiddling with the game files on his desktop. “Any suggestions?” He asks the viewers.

One person suggests Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy and I giggle to myself while Mark grumbles and opens the game file.  
“Mind if Ethan and I join you on your rage filled adventure?” I ask Mark, poking Ethan lightly in the stomach.  
“Not at all!” Mark says while Ethan squirms and giggles when I poke him.  
We get into the game and many screams of anguish come from Mark and laughs come from Ethan and I. “Hey,” I whisper in Ethan’s ear, “we should tag team Mark when he finishes playing and tickle him.” Ethan giggles, whispering back to me, “Okay!” “What are you two giggling about over there?!” Mark shouts, glancing over at us. “Nooothing,” we chime in unison, smiling widely.

Multiple people in the chat begin talking about what we might be planning.  
“Okay, now!” I shout when I see an opening, as Mark had moved himself to grab a drink of water and paused his playing.  
Ethan and I jump on his chair, trying to tickle him but once we jumped we had realized we didn’t think out our plan of attack.  
“Ya little fuckers!” Mark gasps, and turns our plan against us, tickling both me and Ethan at the same time.  
“Nooo!” Ethan screams while giggling and I try to grab onto Mark’s arm to make him stop but it just makes him tickle us more.  
“MAAAARK!!” I laugh while falling off the chair, Ethan grabbing onto my hand.  
“Don’t let go, Jack!” I gasp out, holding his hand tightly.  
“I promise, I’ll never let go Rose,” He says, but let’s me go, me falling to the floor but my legs still being on the chair.  
Mark shoved my legs off the chair and I let out a screech of anguish.  
Mark tickles Ethan until he falls off too on top of me.  
“Agh! We have been ambushed!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading this
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


	7. wow, i probably shoulda stayed in my house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh mah goodness  
> My deepest apologies for not posting in a while. Sorry guys I got kinda busy and I think I’ll just be posting once or twice a week, sometimes more and sometimes less  
> Thank the people who gave kudos and just everyone who has read this fic in general (*´꒳`*)  
> When I saw that this fic had 12 hits on it two weeks ago and then it jump to over 50, it astonished me that people are actually reading my stories! It’s such an amazing feeling and don’t be afraid to give me feedback, criticism and just some tips on writing  
> I appreciate every single person who takes time out of their day to read my stuff  
> Thank you (*´꒳`*)
> 
> Inspired by me screaming twenty one pilots in a car on the highway 
> 
> I had so much fun with this chapter  
> I feel like Ethan and Rhyan can both start the strangest conversations and it’s the best thing I’ve written
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

Once Ethan and I get bored after a while of streaming with Mark, I tell him we’re going to go start a project we’ve been thinking of.  
He nods and continues playing.  
Ethan walks to his room and I tell him I’ll meet him in there. I run downstairs to grab my bags and bring them upstairs. I unzip my large one, grabbing my ukulele that sits underneath some plushies I just had to bring.  
I sprint to Ethan’s room and throw my ukulele case on his bed, pulling out the pretty uke.  
“Oh, Tina got a scratch,” I pout, inspecting the body of the uke. Ethan takes his out too.  
He turns on his camera and gets everything set up.  
“Can you send out a tweet to tell everyone we’re about to begin livestreaming? Do it on my phone too,” he asks me as he gets stuff ready. 

@thefakerhyanreynolds

@crankgameplays and I are going to begin live-streaming in a couple minutes! Join us for some musical talent demonstration and ramblings

 

@crankgameplays

@thefakerhyanreynolds and I are gonna begin live-streaming in a short amount of time. Join us for awkward pauses and ukulele songs

 

“Got everything ready?” I ask him, plopping down in a chair next to him.  
“Mhmm, I am ready spaghetti.”  
“Gucci.”

He begins the livestream, and a couple people join quickly.  
“What is up mah cranky crew?!” I yell, and Ethan gets out of his chair.  
“Oh my god. Fuck this! IM OUTTA HERE!! NOT EVEN A COUPLE OF MINUTES INTO THE FUCKING STREAM,” he screams as I cackle loudly.  
“Okay everybody, I am your substitute Ethan for today. How is everyone in the comment section doing?” I ask them.  
Most of them say it’s been pretty good or better that we’re doing two streams with me today.  
I smile at them.  
“Well, thank you,” I say, “although I’m afraid Ethan is too busy sulking in the corner to thank you guys right now.”  
“I’m not sulking!” He says, pouting, “shit I am sulking.”  
“Yuuup, you are indeed mr Nestor,” I say properly as he plops back into his chair next to me.  
“Anyways, thank you for joining us today! It’ll probably be filled with awkward silences and lots of music an’ bad singing,” Ethan tells them all.  
I hold my uke up high, strumming it violently. “HI IM RHYAN I PLAY THE UKULELE AND VOCAL CORDS VERY OBNOXIOUSLY!”  
“HI IM ETHAN I SING THE SING AND STRUM THE STRUM WHILE SCREECHING ABOUT COMMUNISM!”  
“Woah,” I put down my uke, placing my hand on his shoulder, speaking with faux concern, “Think of all the people you just offended.”  
He looks into the distance, raising his hand to place it on his heart, “watch my subscribers leave.”  
I place my hand on his heart too, “what subscribers.” He gives me a glare but it’s all in good fun. “ooh. Ooh! That’s a nice tit there, Eth.”  
He nods, whispering, “I know.”  
“Thicccc.”  
In a quieter voice, “I know.”  
“So subtly sexy.”  
“I know.” It’s barely picked up by the mic.  
“Anyways!” I exclaim, focusing back on my uke. “I WANNA PLAY MOMS SPAGHETTI— I MEAN LOSE YOURSELF.”  
Ethan looks at me, chuckling to himself.  
“Did you call it Mom’s Spaghetti? MOMS SPAGHETTI?!”  
“SKREE,” I screech unholily. “Le go!”  
“‘Kay, what song do you wanna duet?” Ethan asks genuinely  
“I can SHOW YOU THE WOOOOORLD,” I strum the uke loudly and he makes strange sounds in the background.  
“SHINING SHIMMERING S P L E N D O R! DONT YOU DARE CLOSE YOUR EYES!!”  
“Don’t fucking DARE close your eyes, asshole,” Ethan threatens me, holding the uke like a knife and acting as if he’ll lunge at me any moment.  
“Can’t tell me what to do, Uh-lah-don.” I retort sassily. “Okay, okay. Now seriously though. We promised the people a few songs when you’d come back to LA and the people will not be let down!” Ethan exclaims. He looks to the camera. “Rhyan and I have been searching the internet for songs we could play together only a few stood out from the rest!”  
“Yup!” I chirp. “So, which song first?” “I think we should do the one everyone’s been requesting.”  
“And what is that, Ethybeefy?” I ask.  
“EVERY TWENTY ONE PILOTS SONG. But No, but we’ve decided to do the judge and we don’t believe what’s on tv.” He replies, looking at me for the cue to start. I nod and he begins to play while I hold mine in my lap. We’ve agreed that we’ll alternate playing our ukes since they sometimes clash together. We’d both be doing vocals, though.  
“We don't believe what's on TV Because it's what we want to see And what we want we know we can't believe We have all learned to kill our dreams I need to know That when I fail you'll still be here 'Cause if you stick around, I'll sing you pretty sounds And we'll make money selling your hair I don't care what's in your hair,” I stumble a little bit on this lyric, even though I’ve sang this song multiple times. Ethan giggles and stumbles too, us laughing for the next two lyrics. “I just wanna know what's on your mind I used to say I wanna die before I'm old But because of you I might think twice Alright, second verse What if my dream does not happen? Would I just change what I've told my friends? Don't want to know who I would be When I wake up from a dreamer's sleep I need to know That when I fail you'll still be here 'Cause if you stick around, I'll sing you pretty sounds And we'll make money selling your hair But I don't care what's in your hair I just wanna know what's on your mind I used to say I wanna die before I'm old But because of you I might think twice I don't care what's in your hair I just wanna know what's on your mind I used to say I wanna die before I'm old But because of you I might think twice,” we finish and I can’t help but look at Ethan fondly, him doing the same before turning back to the camera and laughing. “Wooowi,” I hoot, standing up quickly and grabbing my hoodie off of his bed. “And we’ve got a lot more songs to do, too. So all y’all hang tight.” I plop down onto the chair again, strumming my instrument lightly. “Sorry I didn’t kiss you,” I begin without any warning. “But it’s obvious I wanted to Bubble gum down my throat and it’s a curse But my luck couldn’t get any worse ‘Cos I swallowed the bubble gum Ohh and these seven years will be pretty dumb Pink flowers grow from my skin Pepto bismol veins and I Grin,” I sing softly, smiling at the camera while Ethan joins in with the background singing. “You look so nice in your shirt It’s sad because it just hurts I’d do any thing for you But would you do that for me too?” I swallow thickly and unironically. ‘Cos I swallowed the bubble gum Ohh and these seven years will be pretty dumb Pink flowers grow from my skin Pepto bismol veins and I grin,” I whisper the last part, and rub my nose to stop it from dripping. “Rhy, you okay?” Ethan asks when I look down. “Y-yeah!” I perk up, blinking my eyes, “I’m good! I just had a moment.” “Okay,” Ethan nods, and we chat gently before moving onto the next song. ——————— “So, Marr, what’re ya tryin to do here?” Sean asks, looking over Mark’s shoulder. “I’m TRYING to focus,” he exclaims, shoving the Irishman away. “Don’t really look it,” he shrugs, just to get on Mark’s nerves. “Shut the fuck up!” Mark yells, while Sean is giggling in the background. People in the comment section are screaming SEPTIPLIER faster than Mark can let out a cry of anguish when he dies, which is pretty fuckin fast. “Wait!” Sean puts a finger to Mark’s lips. “What?” “Do you hear that?” He asks him. Rhyan and Ethan’s voices travel into Mark’s recording room, them both singing loudly and obnoxiously. Either that or they’re trying waaaay too hard and it seems that they weren’t trying at all. “Holy shit, I DIDNT KNOW THEY COULD SING, JACK. THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT BECAUSE I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY FRIENDS,” Mark says loudly with faux annoyance tinting his voice. “Nah, not that.” Sean shakes his head, “it’s what song they’re singin.” “Oh?” Mark perks a bit, straining to hear. “I ACT LIKE I DONT FUUUUUCKIN CAAAAAARE AT ALL!!” Rhyan screams unholily. “WOAOAHHAHAH DO DOOOO DO DO DOOOODO DO DO DOOOO DO DO DO IM ONLY A FOOL FOR YOUOUOUIUUU AND MAYBE YER TOO GOOD FOR MEEEEEEEEE,” Ethan joins. “COS I HAVE HELLLA FEEEEEEELINS FOR YOUU I ACT LIKE I DONT FUCKIN CAAAARE WOOOO!!” “Yeah, they’re trying way too fuckin hard,” Mark sighs, standing up and grabbing his camera. “We must investigate,” Sean insists. “YOURE SLURRING ALL YOUR WORDS YA FUCKIN SLUT I KNOW YOUVE BEEN OUT WITH JASON BUT I REALLY DONT FUCKINCARE BECAUSE ITS HOT WHEN YOURE DRUNK AND GRINDING UP ON MAH BIZZ GURL!” Rhyan trails off and yells loudly while Ethan is laughing his ass off. “YA KUNK!” “Yeahhhh,” Mark looks to Sean, concern in his eyes. “Let’s go investigate.” The two walk into Ethan’s room where Rhyan is standing on the bed, strumming the uke like it's a guitar and she’s doing a solo performance. Ethan is laying on the floor crying while the camera is postitioned expertly to get them both into the shot. “Holy shit,” Mark yells, making Rhyan stop singing and playing the ukulele. “Uh oh,” she plops down onto the floor with Ethan. “Daddy’s gonna beat us. We been bad kiddens.” Ethan puts his hand over his mouth, to fake an astonished gasp. “Papa’s gonna get real mad too,” he refers to Sean, standing on the back. “Ya damn right we are.” Mark exclaims, placing the camera somewhere where they could see what all was about to go down. He begins to unbuckle his belt, while Ethan and Rhyan hold onto each other, pretending to cry and screaming all the while. “Nooo!!” They both wail, clutching to each other for comfort. “Daddy no!” Ethan giggles out, trying to stifle the little spasms of laughter. Sean looks at Ethan’s camera dead on and says. “To be continued.” And turns it off. “What the fuck, Sean?!” Ethan shouts, voice cracking while he still tries to hold back the funnies. “Noooofing,” he giggles. Sean walks up to Rhyan, who is holding onto Ethan’s waist tightly. “Let’s tag team Daddy, ‘Kay?” Dean whispers to her, “pass it onto Ethan” She nods. “Efan,” she pulls on his shirt. “Let’s tag team Moo,”

“Gucci plan, Rhyan. Gucci plan.”

He repeats it for more cool drama and shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup  
> This was the chapter  
> Not even ashamed of it tbh  
> I’m so fuckin proud of this mess  
> I promise you guys that the grumps will be in this soon  
> I’ve got a special chapter planned for them and it should be the tenth if I’m following my outline 
> 
> The songs I used were   
> We don’t believe what’s on TV by twenty one pilots  
> bubble gum by Clairo and IDFC by blackbear because I’m a shitty meme that deserves only the BEST music  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments n feedback are always appreciated!
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


	8. am i in love or really into torturing myself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but what the hell I don’t really care  
> Once again sorry bout the lack of posting  
> Feeling insignificant and anxious 
> 
> Enjoy

Ethan, Sean and I all tackle Mark when he gets over to our area of the room, grabbing him and pulling him downwards. Ethan and I lay on his chest while Sean has his legs pinned down.  
Ethan struggles slightly with getting Mark’s arms to stay down.  
“Noooo!! I’ve been defeated!” He hollers, then going limp.  
“Yup!” We reply and get off him.  
I feel kinda shitty and sad, for some odd reason.  
I knew I shouldn’t have sang bubble gum, since it’s a song that gets me so emotionally unstable but I needed to do it.  
Ethan, Mark, Sean and I all just end up just hanging out with Mark while he streams, giving him company while he does random stuff.  
I can’t help but feel a lingering ache in my stomach. I shrug it off and just continue to make dad jokes and cheer for Mark. 

————————

I receive a text from Arin Hanson later that day. 

BigCat: what time were u planning on coming over tomorrow?

I respond pretty quickly, not wanting to put him off since I’ve already read it. 

RhyanReynolds: I dunno. Maybe round 11 tomorrow since we’re gonna be filming most of the day right?

BigCat: yeah do u mind if we make game grumps vids with u?

RhyanReynolds: nope not at all

RhyanReynolds: it’s just gonna be me tomorrow btw. Everyone else has stuff to do

BigCat: cool. Been a while since we’ve seen just u

RhyanReynolds: yup. Living in the UK has kept me from y’all

BugCat: u plannin on moving back to LA anytime soon?

RhyanReynolds: I’ve thought about it but I think if I do move back into America I’ll probably live in Chicago where I grew up. I’ve got so many attachments in the east tbh so moving to LA where it’s crowded and hot doesn’t seem like somewhere I’d want to be because of how long I lived in Chicago and Brighton. 

BigCat: ohh. Chicago is quite a ways away

RhyanReynolds: but on the bright side Brighton is much further than Chicago

BigCat: true

And we leave it at that. I lean against the fridge, putting my phone onto the counter.  


Opening the fridge, I try to find what I’d want to eat. I find absolutely nothing that sounds good to me and slam the door, hitting my head against the cool metal. I fall to the floor, sitting with my arms wrapped around my legs and trying really hard not to begin sobbing. 

Anxiety wells up into my stomach, and I realize how far from home I am. Even though I’ve got some of my bestest friends around me I still feel so fucking homesick.   


I miss my friends from Brighton that aren’t YouTube related and I want to be with them right now. 

I miss Reagan and her boyfriend Cade that’d always let me cuddle with her when I felt depressed.   


I miss Jasmine who I used to date and I can’t believe I miss her because of what she did but I really want her back right now. She knew how to treat me when anxiety attacks struck. 

She’d hold me next to her, kiss my forehead, run me baths, wash me and let me stay the night at her house while her roommate wasn’t home. 

Jasmine was not a good person, but she was good to me. I miss her calling me babydoll and treating me like I deserved the world.   


I’m sure Mark’ll do the same, but she was the one who broke my heart into a million pieces and found a way to superglue it back together countless times. 

No one can fix me like she could, not even Ethan, who knows me like the back of his hand. 

She knew me inside and out. I need my Jasmine right now. I need Brighton.


	9. baby, ur not ok and im not either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you
> 
>  
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

“Hey? Rhyan?” Ethan’s small voice floods my ears.  
“What?” I ask sharply, looking away from him.  
“Are you alright?” He asks, “You weren’t looking too bright when we were streaming.”  
“I’m fine, Ethan.” I murmur into my sleeve. “I’ll be fine.”  
“Rhyan I—“  
“I’m fine Ethan!!” I shout, glaring with hazel eyes.  
“I just—“ he begins again.  
“You what? Wanted to see if I wasn’t a fucking beam of sunlight?” I stand up, getting eye level with him. “We all get our down days, okay?!”  
“Today was supposed to be nice,” he whispered, looking to his feet.  
“I’m sorry,” I say, still with a sharp hint in my voice. “But not everything goes as planned.”  
I walk away and leave him wallowing in his thoughts.  
———————-  
“Hellooo?” Dan answers his phone, dragging out the “o” sound.  
“Are you free tonight,” I ask quickly.  
“I’m free any night for you,” he says, laying it down smoothly.  
“Drop the shit, SexBang. Can I stay the night,” I say, not exactly making it much of a question and more of a “if you don’t say yes I will personally come to your house, rip off your dick and spend the night whether you want it or not”.  
“Uhh sure. Arin and Suzy were coming over for dinner but I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you joined.” He replies.  
“Cool.” I say, “I’ll be there in a half an hour.”  
I hang up before he can say more. 

————————

RhyanReynolds: I’m goin out. See you guys tomorrow. 

markiimoo: ok have fun

Jackeyboii: mind tellin is where you’re going?

RhyanReynolds: To the grumps. I need to see them

Blueboi: tell them I said hey

RhyanReynolds: sure

———————  
All I really want right now is to see the grumps, smoke a gallon of weed, have some amazing dinner and sex, then sleep.  
All in that order.  
———————

I grab my bag and stuffed cat named rick—with a lowercase “r”— and wait on the front porch for the Uber I called. I decide to pester Dan for a while. 

RhyanReynolds: hey hey curls

dannysexbang: Heyo heyo tits

RhyanReynolds: tits?

dannysexbang: I was thinking if stuff you had and that was my first thought

RhyanReynolds: right on penicillin 

RhyanReynolds: penis**

dannysexbang: my penicillin is large thank you very much

RhyanReynolds: yum

dannysexbang: don’t get me a boner while I’m talking very casually to Arin and Suzy

RhyanReynolds: oh my god I will you cock

RhyanReynolds: I’ll brb but don’t think you’re loose just now

The Uber arrives and I get into the car, telling the driver my destination.  
I begin searching up some internet stuff because I’m a wonderful friend and want him to have an awkward boner. 

RhyanReynolds sent a gif to dannysexbang

dannysexbang: you did not

RhyanReynolds: hold yer horses more are comin *winn*

RhyanReynolds sends 4 gifs to dannysexbang

dannysexbang: dear lord in heaven why do I do this to myself

RhyanReynolds: because u secretly like it

dannysexbang sent a picture  
It was of Arin and Suzy sitting on Dans couch while he was across from them. 

dannysexbang: you’ve driven them away from me

RhyanReynolds: tell them I said hi and I’ll be there soon

dannysexbang: :P

The Uber pulls into the driveway of the apartment complex and I thank him, giving him a pretty large tip for not trying to engage conversation with me. 

RhyanReynolds: I’m here come fetch me peasent I don’t wanna wait awkwardly next to the door for too long  
I text when I get to his door. 

He opens the door and lets me in. I see Arin and Suzy brighten when I walk in, and Dan’s got a cheeky smile on his face.  
I hug him tightly when he shuts the door, his curly hair tickling my cheeks when I hug him since it’s been getting so long. 

“Still a very tight hugger, Rhy. Some things never change.” Dan says, laughing. I smile, placing my stuff on the floor.  
“Nope!” I move my way over to Suzy and give her a warm hug too.  
“Hey Suz,” I murmur and she hugs me back with the same warmth and cariness that I have.  
“So good to see you again Rhyan. You shouldn’t stay away from us for so long, yknow,” She tells me, pulling away.  
“Yeah,” I reply, “All I know right now is that I just need to hang out with you guys and relax.”  
“Sounds like a plan,” Arin chirps, and I bring him in for a squeeze too.  
Arin reminds me of a pillow. He hugs back tightly.  
We pull away, both laughing. I can feel that my face is warm.  
“So, uhh, what are we having to eat?” I ask once it cools down and we all sit down.  
“Prolly takeout,” Dan says while we sit next to each other quite closely, not too close but enough to smell his shampoo. Arin begins speaking.  
“So, Rhy.” I look up at him. “How long are you planning on staying America?”  
“Uhh, a few weeks. Maybe till October or somethin’. As long as Sean is staying.” I reply, pulling a loose string from my shirt then twirling it around my fingers.  
“Are you going to VidCon?” Suzy asks, leaning forward slightly. “Mhmm. I’m gonna have a shared panel with Ethan and Girbeagly.” Suzy nods, leaning back into Arin again. I smile warmly while looking at them both. “So,” I start, “What are you two playing tomorrow for game grumps?” Dan and Arin exchange glances. “We were planning on just doing some casual gaming. Prolly MarioKart or something like that.” Dan responds. Arin nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, feedback, kudos and just reads in general are very appreciated  
> You guys don’t know how much these fuel me to keep writing


	10. good motha fuckin food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw if anyone has any prompts or ideas that they want I’m open with writing something for them
> 
> Just leave somethin in the comments if you’d like to see something else in this fic or if you want me to do a one-shot fic
> 
> Thank y’all
> 
> (*´꒳`*)

We ordered take out and I get what I usually do; orange chicken and white rice.  
When we’re eating I lean over to Dan and ask him a question quietly.  
“Do you still smoke weed?” I whisper. He looks at me, eyes widening slightly.  
“No, not anymore,” he replies, “why?”  
“Because I’m craving a really good high.”  
He nods.  
“I can understand that.” Dan says.  
“What’re you two whisperin about?” Arin asks once our quiet conversation had been observed.  
“Rhyan wants to get high,” Dan shrugs. I look at him, eyes wide.  
“Dan!” I scold, crossing my arms and hoping that Arin and Suzy weren’t judging me too intensely.

Arin shrugs, “Thought you stopped, Rhy.”  
I avert my eyes from him.  
“I did.” I murmur, “for a while. But weed is hard to sneak onto a plane from halfway across the world.”  
Dan nods knowingly.  
“Damn, I get you,” He says.  
I look at him.  
“Do you know in dealers around here?” I ask him, getting a little excited.  
“Mm, I know someone,” Dan says in a teasing voice.  
“Send me their number and I can call ‘em.”  
“Mkay.”  
Arin whispers something to Suzy, making her giggle cutely.

I smile at them and continue eating the good motherfuckin food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys  
> I might be on a small hiatus soon where I don’t post for two weeks at most because something pretty big happened a few days ago and I need a bit of time to recover  
> I’ll try to post but no promises  
> I don’t think I’ll be able to post as often because of everything but I really will try  
> I want to have a bit of time for myself and not have to worry about needing to post as often  
> Writing is a very large coping mechanism for me though so we’ll honestly just have to wait and see if I do post more  
> Even I don’t know if I’m going to post  
> But if I disappear, it’s just me on the hiatus  
> I really should get back into the habit of posting everyday but it mentally drains me  
> You guys tell me in the comments if you like long chapters over long periods of time or short chapters more frequently 
> 
> Thank you all for just being here and reading  
> Its such good inspiration for me and I hope you guys enjoy everything that’s been going on so far  
> I loving coming on here and seeing how many hits and kudos I get on here  
> It’s so inspiring 
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


	11. UPDATE

uhh hi

so, im thinking about quitting this fic  
and like, yall had nothing to do with it but i have absolutely no ideas (AT ALL) and its really just turned to shit  
if i dont decide to keep it, i will still keep it up  
ive just got so much other projects im working on and this actually is starting to feel like a chore  
so i hope you guys have enjoyed this heck-hole while it lasted but if you dont have any ideas then im probably just gonna orphan this then  
if yall do have ideas tho, PLEEEEASE do not be afraid to hit me up in the comment box  
im only stopping this because i have no ideas and am just throwing up unoriginal ideas  
but if you have any ideas; like i said hit me up and i'll see what i can do

i dont want to get rid of this fic but tbh its just a hassle to think of really suck-ass ideas  
thank you guys sososososo much for everything   
it means alot  
hit me up

**Author's Note:**

> have a good day/night!
> 
> Comments n feedback are much appreciated!
> 
> (*´꒳`*)


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